I’ve been going to my current church for almost three years now. Each year, in March, there is a weekend retreat for interested ladies. It’s in the mountains. My Mom went and when she told me about it sounded fun and I thought I might like to go in the future.

BUT we were trying to conceive and I knew that if I got pregnant I would be a high risk pregnancy and that my doctor would probably not allow me to go. So when it came time to sign up for the retreat, I wouldn’t sign up just in case I got pregnant. I did that for two years and then wished I had gone each time when time for the retreat rolled around.

Well, my Mom called me the other day and said there were only about 17 spots left and asked if I wanted to go. I thought for a minute and said yes. No more putting my life on hold just in case I get pregnant. It feels empowering but scary all at the same time! Empowering because I am living my life regardless of whether I get pregnant today, next week, next year, or never – and scary for all the same reasons! In some ways, it feels like the end of an era, the end of a dream.

I’m excited about the retreat though. I think it will help improve my relationship with God, I might make some new friends, and it will be relaxing to have an entire weekend with out a computer or a cell phone! (Ok, I might go into withdrawals by the time we get home, but I will manage.) And the best part – a whole weekend with my Mommy and an opportunity for us to spend some time with one another.

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